i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
