i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
