U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
