That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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