FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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