Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
