I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
