So drunk its hurt
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
