are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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