wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
