you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
