I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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