we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he had hair everywhere except his balls
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize