okay pat passed out under dana's car
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
