A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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