"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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