I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
