If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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