Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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