I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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