Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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