I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
