Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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