i don't like sucking hair
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
