does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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