I'm going to jail i love you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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