last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
