she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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