I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Say something about gay babies.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
