He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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