She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
