found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
