Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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