Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize