tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
