It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you didnt know i had herpes?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
