I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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