Everything about him screamed your future.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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