I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
