so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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