No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
