come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
