from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
