I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
