Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
