i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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