On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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