so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize