I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she told me i tasted like america
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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