i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
