I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
