is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
