its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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