the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
