i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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