I'm really into asian looking animals
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
