Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
