Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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