So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
