whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize